We read bell hooks today. Stood by the mirror and let her words slide through us. There will be days where bad moods will force you to grump, groan, or growl. Whether as a child or an adult. In the end, just let it pass, no need to hide it, let the feelings be.
As a flower, Hibiscus ranges from white, to pink, to orange and red. It’s beauty greets your eyes and leads you on a journey where your heart is fully fed. The diversity of its shape, it’s size and it’s color, even it’s shrub is outstanding, full of brilliance, full of elegance. My hands touched a hibiscus this week. It was at the swimming lodge by our home, where my children attended a week-long swimming camp. It sent the petals on it way, whirling through the air, these tiny specks bobbing, all through the air. A brilliance seemed to surround the flowers, all around them beamed, a great brilliance. It’s power I noticed, strikes you in the heart and in the head. For one brief moment, you too are like the Hibiscus, and brilliance fills your being wholly.
I imagine this is what great days in the summer are like with children. Brilliance like pink hibiscus flowers that, wholly fill your being with a joy, you may never have imagined, joy that you hope to capture, even if fleeting, for even now, you maybe wondering, how joy became your portion, with the demands of your children occupying every single minute of your day. As hibiscus flowers open up, as their brilliance radiates in full bloom, even if for a moment, you will feel joy, screaming through your pores, even when you lay helpless wondering how the summer days will last. My motto, take it one moment at a time. Summer days as a mom are supposed to be brilliant and they rarely are. The demands of your children are supposed to end once you address their needs, but they rarely do. The hot air is supposed, to want them to stay cool, even lay low if they can, but they never do. Yet through it all, how we mothers find ways to reach and teach, listen and lead the scenes, all of them from summer camps to summer schools, even for brief rare moments, leaves me thankful for the blessed assurance of Hibiscus.
I knew that summer days following homeschooling and a pandemic would be tough. What I didn’t plan for was to be sent home early after only day 2 of swimming camp with my middle child. I knew that anything with water would be a problem for him. But I also wanted him to learn to manage his meltdowns whenever he goes by water. Day 1 involved crying at the end of the day, because I didn’t bring a change of clothes. I was following the camps instructions and hoped for a better Day 2. It was disastrous. I wondered why I kept insisting that my son learnt in this way. The camp counselors called an hour into camp and noted he was crying. He wanted to go on the slides. His shorts had rivets. Campers with rivets are not allowed on slides. My son had a meltdown. They asked what to do. I said try saying Dad was on his way to get him. They did. He cried louder. I eventually came and got him. This was only Day 2. These meltdowns are dreadful. Especially when his minds cannot get past the denied access for example. It’s denial makes him cry non-stop, repeating the same phrases over and over again. Like ‘no slides.’ ‘But why.’ Nothing seems to end it. The anguish subsides for a moment when you remove him for the place causing the meltdown. He may still sob. But eventually, it comes to an end, and slowly his brilliance returns and surround his being. Day 3, armed with new swimwear and a change of clothes, meant that my son had a brilliant day. The utter brillance in his demeanor, left the counselors stunned. It was like night and day. We know, always that when the conditions are right, his being would be brilliant. The conditions were right the rest of the week. By Friday, the last day of swimming camp, he got an award for the individual with the most fun. His sister got one too for the best participation. She was instrumental with helping to ensure he had a great time at the swimming camp.
Looking back, the brilliance of this week were like those that surround hibiscus flowers I noticed at the swimming lodge. A brilliance seemed to surround us this past week with swimming, all around a great brilliance. From the meltdowns, to the upside down nature of mothering on the spectrum, the diversity of nurturing from moments to moments, keeps my head and heart fully fed with joy. Keep the brilliance of Hibiscus for mother’s during summer days.